Saturday, 2 November 2013

If you read just one 'self-help' book in your life READ THIS: The rules (for dating)

I have two sisters. We are all pretty much single (they are both in the early stages of possible relationships). I think our mother gets concerned sometimes that we are not conducting ourselves in the right way to find husband material. She was married to my father by the age of 24 and had me when she was 27. Done and dusted. None of this oh I'm entering my thirties now I should probably think about freezing my eggs in 5 years time.

She's worried about not getting grandchildren I think. But more than that like any mother should she wants us all to find good and kind men who will love us as much as she does. So I'm sure it was only with our best interests in mind that she recently bought us all a new book which she thought we should all read.

I'm not in to 'self-help' books. The make me shudder. My ex bought one when we going out about 'spicing up' our sex lives. It was embarrassing. And to be quite frank some of the things suggested in that 'manual' were anything but sexy.

But this my dear reader is a bit differnt The New Rules: The dating dos and don'ts for the digital generation from the bestselling authors of The Rules has pretty much revolutionised the way I look at dating and I highly recommend it to all. On mentioning it to a few happily married friends that went all hush hush and disclosed how they had used the rules to 'snag' their husbands.

I was cycnical when I first read it. But I've totally changed my mind now. I've seen the results of it with friends and family. It's a great way of protecting yourself from dickheads getting into your life and I finally feel like I'm the one in control of my dating.

If you're are single, dating or starting a new relationship I reckon this will be the best £5.74 you have ever spent.

Lola x

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Mr Millionaire

I woke up this morning at 4.30am. When I finally realised I was awake and that it was pitch black outside I wondered why and then remembered my date the night before....

I met Mr Millionaire online. We exchanged a few emails and arranged to meet at a cafe in Soho last night. He looked nice in his photos. But just nice really. I wasn't particularly fussed. I had already google stalked* him and noted that he was fairly high up in his company but didn't really think anything of it. He seemed interesting from his emails.

'I'm meeting you am I'? He said with a cheeky grin looking up as he stood at the bar of the cafe we planned to meet in.
'Yes you are' I replied feeling slightly intimidated. He was alot better looking in real life.
'Shall we go upstairs' he said ushering me out the door where I found myself standing at the unassuming door of the uber exclusive Soho house. We climbed the stairs to the reception and checked in. He launched quite quickly into a million and one questions about me. I was pleasantly surprised. Regular readers will know I get a bee in my bonet about datee's who never ask questions and just talk about themselves the whole evening. Boring! It's give and take gentlemen! Give and take.

'So what do you do' I asked casually (I already sort of knew)
'Oh I work at *** ' He said smiling.
'Oh yes I know it what do you do there?'
'Good question I sometimes wonder that myself....I own it'.
'Well that's very impressive' I replied AS CAUSALLY AS HUMANELY POSSIBLE.

We continued to talk about work. We had some food. We bonded over Breaking Bad. Shared our interests in music and travel. At one point he made me laugh so loudly I nearly Soho House....the shame of it. He kept touching my knee and the chemistry was definitely starting to develop.

After a few drinks I decided to call it a night as I could feel myself getting tipsy and didn't want to embarrass myself. We walked to the exit.

'It was lovely to meet you Lola I'll text you....or you text me?'
'No' I replied. 'The man should always be the one to text' I replied cheekily skipping off (or at least I felt it inside) into the alleyways of Soho.

When I returned home I googled him again. There were interviews all over the broadsheets talking about how much he was worth and making the point about how he was a single bachelor. I cringed when I recalled how I had asked him if he lived on his own or with friends. Of course he didn't live with friends duhhhh. He lived in his own mansion in one of the most expensive neighbourhoods in the London. It was all a bit 50 shades/pretty woman....erm without the sex and bdsm.

To say I feel a little intimidated is an understatement. I'm not really a person motivated by money. I don't really care if I end up with a burger flipper as long as there is love. My overall impression was that really he was just a big kid with alot of responsibility. And I liked him. Alot.

....and now I'm just waiting for the text. Meh.

* Just a note on stalking. I'm very very good at it. It's very helpful for online dating and working out if someone is genuine or not. I'm planning to do a little blog post at some point to reveal my secrets for finding out information...stay tuned...

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Do you Tinder?

You know when you're on facebook and come across an old school friends wedding album and you're bored. And so you might decide to have a little stalk and start casually looking through the photos and see a very handsome man in a few of them. You realise he's tagged in the photo so you click on his facebook page and have a bit of a stalk wondering if he's single...just me? It can't be! 

Well Tinder has answered all my prays.

If you haven't heard about it yet and you're single - where have you been lady?? Available in the iphone app store and also on Android in their words 'Tinder finds out who likes you nearby, and connects you with them if you're also interested. It all started with the realisation that there are many apps that connect us with people we already know, but none that do a great job of helping us meet new people.'

So I downloaded the app. Connected my account to facebook (it will never post anything to your facebook page). Chose a few facebook profile photos and I was off!

The profile photos of single young men all located in a 30 mile radius of me started to pop up on the screen. It's a swipe left for 'nope' and a swipe right for 'hell yes get me in touch with that hottie'. 

It's pretty addictive. What I love about it is it shows you if you have shared 'likes' on facebook. So I can see if someone likes TED lectures as much as I do or is a festival goer having liked 'The Secret Garden Party'. It also shows you if you have mutual friends. I've already come across people I have dated and old work mates who I secretly always fancied. 

And the great thing about it? The rejection side is totally taken out of the equation. 

Monday, 9 September 2013

Lola on Facebook

Taking a break, my exes surprise wedding and a dash of casual sex

If you're a regular reader you will know that occasionally I disappear. This time is was because I chose to take a break from dating. It felt really good. I needed some space to be 'me'. To reaccess. To work out how I could be happy without a man in my life. To spend some quality time with friends and family. To throw myself into work a little more. To not get too overwhelmed with dating....

Oh...and my ex got married without telling me. THAT was fun to find out on the grapevine. Don't you just love facebook! It hasn't even been 2 years since I gave my ring back.

But thankyou for your emails :) I still get quite giddy when I see how many people read the blog daily.

I picked up the dating pace in the last month or so. I won't blog every date as well quite frankly they were mostly boring with a couple being a little heartbreaking.

There was the first and second date after we met at The Science Museum speed dating night with Mr Dancer. Our first dated ended with a drunken kiss. Our second didn't go well. We had a lunch in Clapham. The chemistry was zilch and he freaked me out by telling me he had told all his work mates about how he was dating me based on our first date. He was far too keen. It put me right off.

Then there was Mr 7 years my junior but that was just about sex. And...ahem Mr 10 years my junior who was actually a friend and then we ended up in bed together the night before he went back to Australia. He was probably more mature than some of the 38 year olds that I have dated. My heart broke a little when I waved him off at the airport.

Then there was Mr one and only one night stand. We got on like a house on fire on our date. I jumped into bed with him far too soon and we never saw each other again. I still stalk him on ok cupid. Mr Artist followed quickly after. We fell in love with each other over one date...then he went back to his ex. Meh.

Mr Cambridge phd physics grad was rather dull and Mr Fencer (yes the sport) was rather keen on meeting again despite him talking about work and himself for the whole 2 hrs of our date. And Mr far too shy just made me feel plain uncomfortable with his body language.

So it's been an interesting Summer. If I was being really honest it would have been lovely to have someone special in my life to have picnics with and roll about in parks on the warm Summer nights. But I guess I wasn't ready and quite frankly I probably needed to get the whole casual sex thing out of my system. Everyone needs to have a bit of single wildness. Luckily that has now come to an end as it was getting a little boring doing the walks of shame but now I find myself in a somewhat state of limbo where I don't want to jump into bed with the first Christian Bale lookalike that walks along but I'm still not quite sure my mind is going to let me fall into a relationship.
So limbo it is! I'll let you know how it goes!

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