The night I went speed dating...at The Science Museum!

Yes that's right! Even The Science Museum is now dipping it's toes into the world of dating. I've never been speed dating before and in my lonely days as an attached-not-so-smug-nearly-married-person I thought it looked like a fun thing to do.

When you think about it the average blind internet date takes a minimum of 5 whole hours of my life (that's an hour to get ready, 2 hr return journey and really you have to stay for a couple of hours to be nice). So the idea that I could date 15 men in under an hour appealed quite nicely to my time poor self.

The dating thing is just one part of the evening that the museum put's on monthly.  With a couple of friends in tow for support we headed down to South Kensington on a sunny Wednesday evening. Nervously we bought a bottle of wine from the museum stall and wondered around watching the silent disco'ers and DJ's playing. You can do experiements on the night and there are various talks and strange things to do. It would be great thing to do for a first date!

At 8pm and we headed up to the 3rd floor to be fed to the lions.

We were herded into a small room where we had to stand in close proximity to everyone else we were about to date and fill out our name badges. Stupidly I put both my first name....and then my second name. What was I thinking? I don't think the idea that people could google stalk my name afterwards really occurred to me. It wasn't some sort of networking night!

And then after a short while we took our places in a large room. We were given a clipboard with the badge numbers on and the idea was that the girls stayed seated and the boys moved around and after the 3 minute 'date' (which was ended with a siren each time) we had to tick a 'Yes', 'No' or 'Friends' box on our bits of paper.

The siren sounded and we were off. Now I have to be honest. I was nicely tipsy by this point. I was quite nervous. At least half the men in the room seemed to be ALOT younger than me (it's my current complex as I'm turning 30 next month). I can't really quite remember many of the dates. Alot of the talk seemed to be centred on 'Have you done this before' and 'What do you do for a living'. There was the guy who couldn't stop sweating, the one who was a surgeon and the one who was helping orphans in India. 

And then there was a good-looking young man with whom I felt a spark with. We talked about music and he said he wanted to take me dancing. The siren sounded 'It was really good to meet you' he said standing up looking me in the eyes smiling, lingering a little. There was definitely a connection there. I ticked yes.

And then it was all over and I was exhausted!

The next day everyone was emailed their matches. Mr Dancer had said yes aswell. I'll let you know how the real date goes!

Overall it was a fun night. A great way to meet people. I would really recommend it for people who haven't dated that much and want to be thrown in at the deep end because it really pushes you to start talking about yourself and working out what you want from other people. It's also great for helping you tune into any connection that might be there with someone.

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Mr Chancer

I would love to say that my little blogging break was due to me meeting the man of my dreams....alas no dear readers! Actually I've had a whole load of crap dumped on my plate recently (coupled together with suffering from a seemingly never ending bout of S.A.D - yay for the recent sunshine!) so took some time out.

Still been dating though!

This date was the kind of date where I would love to say THIS is how I met my husband!

It was back in December last year when I was on a date with Mr Childhood Sweetheart. We had arranged to meet at a local pub and he was running wayyyy late. I spotted Mr Chancer eyeing me up out of the corner of my eye as I tried to look busy on my phone....and not look like I had been stood up.

'Can I buy you a drink?' He said as I looked up from my phone. 'My dates going to be here any minute' I laughed trying to shoo him away slightly bemused. The chemistry was instant. You could feel it in the air. We got chatting. 'Your going to have to go' I half-heartedly pleaded after 10 minutes. Why couldn't I be on a date with him right now? I asked myself. Mr Childhood Sweetheart turned up shortly after looking confused as Mr Chancer made a speedy exit.

An hour later as I was making my way back to the table from the ladies the crowd literally parted and Mr Chancer was standing in front of me smiling 'Just put it in your pocket' he whispered flirtingly as he handed me his business card and walked off.

Sometimes I wonder if people actually realise that there is a wealth of personal information about them on the internet. All I need is a name or occupation or some little shred of info and I can be off googling to my hearts content finding out everything there is to know about that person. He I found out through my stalking was...............in a relationship.

Yes I rolled my eyes too.

And I obviously told him I had found out. 'It's ending in the New Year' he tried to reason with me. But seriously what kind of a guy goes out handing his number to random girls (on their own dates!) in random pubs when they are in a relationship? We kept in contact though. I thought the chemistry was too good to throw away. I wanted to sit back and see what happened. I went off to Thailand (and had my date with Mr Backpacker which I still by the way totally reminisce about).

And then when I came back he was single and so I though fuck it.

We arranged to meet in Notting Hill where he took me to a little pub that served the most amazing Thai food 'A nostalgic dinner' he called it after my time spent in Thailand.

He turned up looking like The Fonz with slicked back hair and a leather jacket. Not my usual type but there was something about him. He was very good looking. He knew it aswell. But quite short. I've never dated a short man. It was a bit weird and bit.....unmanly? Whoops!

We talked about running our own businesses, how he had only been single for 1.5 years of his adult life, where we wanted to travel to next, our mutual facebook friends, his wayward brother and how I write a dating blog (I'm going to stop mentioning that to the datees as they go really shy on me and paranoid on me...!).

We got drunk quite quickly and before we knew it we were the last ones standing. We headed out into the now rainy night and shared a drunken kiss (which was rather epic) before we headed our separate ways.

The ones that didn't quite make the dating shortlist:

'I would bury my dick so far up your arse, who ever pulled it out would be crowned the new king Arthur.'

 

'Smart, cultured, bright, sensitive, single female sought for respectful, grown up, sensual, intimate encounter with similarly minded, attractive, single, English male, 38. In town briefly.  Not after a threesome with you and your trans-gendered billy goat. No adolescent fantasising over gymnastic positions and BDSM incorporated boy scout knots. What's wrong with this site?  If you are more on the sensitive, bright, adventurous side, into interesting conversation and seek a fleeting but passionate, anonymous, one-time diversion from the mundane and everyday, perhaps we can make something happen offline.'

 

 

 

 

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Mr Mildly Famous

My date with Mr Mildly famous came about when he winked me on match.com and I recognised him from the telly and so we got emailing. I very much wish I could tell you who exactly he is....but I can't! But let's just say this. If you watch the TV then there is a fair chance you have seen him although you probably wouldn't know him. He is also rather hot.

We arranged to meet in Windsor (half way between where we both live).

Can you imaging if someone actually took you speed dating on a first date?!

I am never really that nervous about going on dates with people but with this one I was petrified. Our emails and been so detailed I felt like I already knew him and I knew I would definitely fancy him having seen him on the box. I bought a new dress for the occasion and got some double takes (hopefully in a good way) on the way there so I felt a little more confident.

And so the date went well. We ended up in a bar overlooking the river. There was instant attraction. We talked about his mild fame, how to get out of bad dates, work, past relationships, drugs, sex (Yeah we got onto that a little bit too soon I think), his love of children and what kind of a father he would be, the 90s! and how we both used to be fat. Pretty varied. He talked alot. I think I've probably said this before about previous dates but I'm really aware of how much someone talks about themselves and how interested in asking me questions about myself they actually are. I think he was fairly interested. I think he liked the sound of his own voice perhaps a little bit too much though. I also sensed that he knew the affect he had on women.

But if truth be told the shallow part of me was completely dazzled by his looks. A few years ago when I was fat, didn't straighten my hair and was a boring nearly married housewife I would never of dreamt that someone like that would even giving me the time of day. Sad, right?

So after a few double vodkas he walked me to the station.

'I hate this bit' he said looking sheepishly at his feet. I was surprised that the confident non-stop-talker actually seemed a little bit lost for words. 'I really enjoyed this evening...I'd like to do it again sometime' he said in a quiet voice.
'So would I' I replied smiling.
He looked somewhat relived and jump pecked kissed me on the lips and pretty much ran out of the station. I smirked all the way home.

The next day we were texting.

We had our second date last night and the third shall be occurring at the weekend. But to be honest I having a bit of dilemma with this one. You know that gut instinct I've talked about before? Yeah... that's kicking in. Not in a 'he is a psycho killer' kind of a way but in a 'he's not the one' kind of a way. So I'm not sure why I'm wasting my time?

I don't know what's wrong with me. You could cut the physical attraction between us with a knife, he's so handsome I get embarrassed looking at him, our children would be beautiful and he would with no doubt be an amazing father, he owns a house and has a good job. But I do wonder how empathetic he is? And I get this feeling that he's looking for a baby machine and someone to label as his wife so he can tick that off his list. Isn't this what every woman dreams of? Is it so wrong that I want more from a partner? I want someone who will be all those things and so much more. I want someone who will challenge the way I see the world and how I live my life. And really? I want to be madly in love and I'm just not sure that this would exist with him.

Carrie kind of sums up the sort of thing I'm looking for....

Does this person even exist for me? Perhaps I need to lower my expectations? Or perhaps he could be 'The one' and I'm just not quite ready to meet him. I'm aware I'm totally overthinking this...after only the second date (!).

The ones that didn't quite make the dating shortlist:

'Hey baby, I would so (x) all over ur face! Wana give it a go?'

'Hi, You have a pretty face and a beautiful gaze. I have never seen someone come across so alive on a laptop screen. The energy radiating is uncanny. I would love to get to know you better.I am a New York based businessman living and doing business in London as well as New York.I am a well traveled man, 75 countries and counting.... I travel a lot around the world for Business and otherwise and would love to see more of this planet through your eyes'. *he was about 63...not that I'm ageist or anything.

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Mr Backpacker ~ A date in Thailand

 

Oh yes that's right dear readers. Despite being thousands of miles away on holiday for the last month I still managed a date.

After spending a couple of weeks down south on the beaches of Thailand I found myself in the capital with my bestfriend and her hubby. After settling in to the Bangkok Millennium Hilton hotel it was early evening so we decided to head out to the Khao San Road. If you haven't been before The Khao San is where all the backpackers hang out. Filled with stalls to buy tat and bars to buy buckets of vodka from (literally). 

After doing the obligatory tourist tat shopping we parked ourselves in a bar on the main stripe to watch the world go by. The heady evening heat was stifling and bestfriend (who I shall call Plum) promptly ordered a bucket of vodka and red ball for us to share. 

The bar was showing English football which had attracted alot of young men. Plum is forever on the prowl for boys to 'amuse' me as she puts it. I took a sip of my drink. The Thai red ball is like liquid speed and it immediately hit. I looked up and watched Plum scanning the room. Her eyes settled on the table next to us and then she stared back at me with raised eyebrows. Casually I looked over and saw three boys sitting at the table. They were young, I noted. Well compared to my nearly thirty year old self! Early twenties perhaps. Tanned. Wearing vests and shorts. Typical travellers. Chang beers all in hand. 

'Nice tattoo' Plum called out to the taller dark haired one, secretly raising one eyebrow at me. 

'5 hours, Phuket' he said turning his chair to face us, smiling. 

Swivelling her chair round '20 hours Koh Chang' she said pointing at her back where she had tattooed wings still a little bit raw from the bamboo that painted them. 

'Valium' she sighed looking at him. 'It get's you through the pain' she said getting up to hand him a pack she had pulled out of her bag. 

'Thanks' he said taking the packet from her surprised.

Sitting back down she looked at me with a smug I-have-just-totally-set-you-up in a I'm such a good friend kind of a way. 

'If I leave you with my friend will you promise to look after her' she said with a glint in her eye looking at them and then back at me. 

'Of course' they chorused.  

We were now half way through the bucket of vodka and I was starting to feel the effects. Plum and hubby were planning to go and eat at a nearby restaurant but I was not hungry. She had totally set me up.

Five minutes later he came over and placed a rose in front of me that he had just bought from one of the tourist touts patrolling the bars. 'To say thankyou for the valium'. he said resting it next the vodka bucked. I blushed. He returned to his friends who were sniggering. 

Gathering her bags to go Plum produced her phone and took pictures of them all as evidence if needed. Well common? She was leaving me on my own in a strange company with albeit hot but strange boys. They were clearly taken aback. I chuckled. I am totally used to this. Gathering the hubby they headed out the bar and I joined the boys. 

Turned out they were all 24 from Brighton and on a six month trip around Asia. They thought I was the same age (smug doesn't even come close). They regaled their stories of spider infested treks in the north of Thailand and being chased and mugged by ladyboys on the beaches in the South. 

But it wasn't Mr Rose who had caught by eye. Oh no. I was infact getting on like a house on fire with the boy who had actually shown the littlest interest in me. 

Me and Mr Backpacker didn't stop talking for three hours. Non stop. The chemistry felt more friend like but as the vodkas and Changs flowed the flirting began to edge in. 

At midnight I announced to our growing party (2 girls just off the plane had joined us along with a rather strange Finnish guy) that we should head to 'The Club' a few doors down. Everyone downed their drinks and we all swayed along the road dodging the fried cockroach sellers as we went. 

And then we were on the dancefloor. And I was totally hanging out with the early twenties gang. And totally pulling it off. I smugly smiled inwardly. On throwing some shapes (ha ha! My sister loves it when I say that!) Mr Backpacker came over and pulled me onto the podium where I got knocked by some crazy Thai dancing man and literally fell into Mr Backpackers arms. Oh you couldn't make it up. Usually I plan this sort of thing ;)

And then we kissed. Hungrily. It was a hands-in-the-hair 'can't get enough of you' type of kiss. The passion felt electric. Time sort of stood still. I'm not quite sure how long it went on for. I was really quite drunk.

And then suddenly the lights went on and it was 3am. We walked hand in hand out onto the Khao San where it was now tropically raining and we ran to find shelter under a shop canvas. Pushing me with his hips into the closed shopfront he started to kiss me again. Our hands may of wondered slightly 'A preview of what's to come' he said with a glint in his eye. And so we stood there. Kissing. Chatting. Listening to the rain. Watching the few people left over from the club dance in the street.

'Do you have a bucket list' he whispered in my ear. 

'Yes' I said smiling, surprised. Not many do and not many people know what it is. *FYI everyone should have one* 

''Do you?' I asked 

'No I don't. But if I did this would definitely be on it'. He grinned. 

It was 4am by now and I needed to be getting back to the confines of the Hilton for my beauty sleep. Walking back through the rain arm in arm stopping every 30 seconds for a heart stopping needy kiss I gave him my facebook name and we arranged for him to add me as friend and then we would meet up the next evening.

The next day I checked out of the Hilton and waved goodbye to Plum and hubby who were heading up North to Chiang Mai. I on other hand was off to stay on the Khao San for my last few nights in Thailand.

After a death defying half hour tuk tuk ride between hotels I checked in to my new room aware that it was now 1pm and Mr Backpacker had still not friended me.  

I facebooked Plum:

Dear Mr Backpacker

The first rule of kissing girls in the rain on the Khao San road (and giving them previews ;) ) is that you must call them back (or in this case facebook them). 

I'm in a hotel round the corner. Here's my number - what's app me. 

Lola x

I left the scribbled note at the reception of his guesthouse. What did I have to lose?

I wish dear readers that I could now tell you about the most amazing last few days I spent in the capital with him. The amazing sex we had. His stamina. My orgasms. How the 3 month honeymoon period was condensed into 3 days. The romantic boat trips we took. The stupid photos we took of us doing the 'tourist thang'.....

But no. 

He never got in touch. 

And on reflection I suspect I may of ruffled a few jealously hairs amongst his friends and not wanting to rock the boat (he did after all have 4 months left of travelling with them) he decided it wasn't worth it. 

That's what I'm telling myself anyway :)

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Mr Gym Bunny - The saga continues

Whilst house sitting for a friend I decided on a whim to invite Mr Gym Bunny over. He had been pursuing me for months. I was in truth really lonely. I knew the sex would be amazing. I was 'just using him to fill the time' I told my best friend.

He was meant to come round for 9pm....

I'm such a mug. I should of told him to fuck off.

I went to bed thinking of how I'd been in that situation so many times before when my ex just actually couldn't be bothered to come home from the pub. Gym Bunny had pressed a button that had really got my back up and I fell asleep with the plan to never speak to him again.

And then....

He turned up steaming drunk....giggling. 

I wasn't. 

I put him to bed but he kept gabbering on about shit. And then he turned to me. 'I'm really sorry about tonight'. 'You are probably one of the few people in this world who really know's me'. 'But perhaps tonight was for the best as I probably wouldn't say what Im about to say if I wasn't this drunk'. 

'I miss having you in my life'.

I rolled my eyes. 

'Well you have me in your life' . 'I don't know what else you want from me?' I said angrily. But in truth my heart melted. This is what I felt like screaming (like a crazy woman) 

You absolute idiot. We are so amazing together. 8 months on and the sex just gets better. Our chemistry is amazing. I don't have this with anyone else. We get on like a house on fire. That's rare you FOOL. Are you that much of a twat that you can't see me being the mother of your children? No of course you can't because like some sort of retard I am giving you sex as and when you want it on the pretence that one day you will actually pull your finger out. Which I know is never going to happen.

I know. I'm such a mug. Thank god I never said that. And with that I went to bed. 

He stayed with me for 5 days. We watched films, lazed around in our underwear, went shopping, sat in pubs, ate takeaways, hung out in Camden and went to a gig. It was kind of amazing. I can so see an 'US'. But all due respect to him he was very clear that he is still not ready for relationship. So basically he is having his cake and eating it.....AGAIN!

I've decided I have three options. I can either cut off all contact (like last time which was quite frankly hell on earth), carry on and play the waiting game or 'up' my game and get a little bit physocigical on him by withdrawing the sex and be the unobatinable (very good) friend to him...

I have not idea what to do. The only thing I'm pretty sure of is this feeling inside me of being terrified....because I know deep down I'm falling in love with him all over again. 

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